A day of practical work and experimentation in the Bunker. A number of random and not entirely related cognitive threads came together in the notion that I might want to consider a larger amp system for the occasional larger venue we play, such as this weekend; this in turn led me to an afternoon of playing mix-and-match with various pieces of gear, in the elusive quest for that killer sound, which ended up making quite a mess and reassembling the Frankenstack:
Contemplating this today, I find that I may once again have too many irons in the fire, and the conflict of interest is setting in. After having a couple of weeks to myself, working undisturbed on my own material, band work resumes; I can almost feel the creative fire going out. Part of the above process was admittedly an exercise in finding my sound, my own voice, which tends to get lost when doing a money gig for any length of time. This was further complicated by the unusual direction that the latest creative impulse took - I initially set out with the aim of coming up with some new looped / soundscape material, but the Muse instead chose to serve me up a bunch of group-oriented music instead. I'm certainly not complaining, but there is the small matter of the group needed to execute this material isn't the group I'm working with.
This, briefly, is why my Teacher discourages people from becoming professional musicians - my calling to play is coming into conflict with my other obligations; it is the most bitter of ironies that my job as a musician is actually interfering with my being a musician. And this isn't the first time. Just as I am picking up steam heading down one path, I now have to tear everything down and reset for rehearsal tonight. Most of the time I am able to keep these things compartmentalized, but when everything is firing on all cylinders - which doesn't happen often - it becomes an inconvenience, and a source of mounting frustration. Such is life, though. We bear it and persevere.
Some things protect themselves by being what they are.
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